You suck too · posted Jul 26, 01:33 PM by youth
Ok, so I think I caught some sort of virus that makes everything suck… and now everything sucks. This website sucks. My computer sucks. Life sucks. Everything sucks. I did some thinking (boy did that suck), and it occurred to me that everything used to rock, and nothing has really changed since then. Everything should still rock just as hard now as is it did before. Harder even, because I went and did some stuff that totally rocked. Except now all that stuff sucks too. Even stuff that rocks, sucks now. In fact, those things suck more, just for rocking, because rocking sucks. Man, this whole paragraph sucks. I’m so over it.
Anyway, I don’t know why you’d bother reading this (it totally sucks), but I’m going to post it anyway. It’s an excerpt from an email I sent while I was in China (China sucks). Here goes:
~
On the second to last day, we spent the morning at one of the many street cafes that line “foreigner’s street”. It’s fun just to kick back for a few hours at a time, sipping tea or lemon juice (it’s quite nice actually), watching the mini-storms surprise everyone with a quick dump of rain, making funny faces for the numerous pictures that the all-too-obvious chinese tourists pretend NOT to be taking of you, practicing new and exciting techniques to ward off the endless stream of “touts” who try to sell you everything from umbrellas (actually useful), to dog meat and fresh produce (after we’ve just eaten at the restaurant – you know, otherwise I’d totally go for a dog meat / leechy nut sandwich). It was during one of our frequent streetside reveries that Alex and I decided something must be done. Something great. We were going to climb a mountain. Many peaks towered above our new residence – naturally we decided to scale the tallest one; the one with all the antennas and such poking out the top.
The first step in our plan was to ascertain the whereabouts of a pre-existing trail we could use to aid our ascent. As much as I like landscaping, I didn’t think that carving a steep path through the jungle would be all that enjoyable. We made our inquiries and headed out around towards the back of town. No likely trails started anywhere near where we were told. We wandered randomly (but enthusiastically) through a small residential area which was partially flooded, and gathered a train of “advisors” who each had a different take on the situation. They ended up arguing with each other in the hot sun, and that’s where we left them. After talking to two small children who said that what we were looking for was not on this side of the mountain, we went back into town and started again.
Much more success this time… eventually. The final discovery still required of us more wandering through a labyrinth of stairs and walkways, past confused villiagers, who, when asked about the path, seemed to be quite sure (I imagined what they were saying) that the path was definately “not in their yard”. Anyway we found it and started up.
Much to our delight, the path was actually a staircase of stone. Much to our dismay, it was very poorly built, and therefore gave a very dangerous illusion of safety. It ended up being a loose, stair-shaped collection of stones. Still better than mud, so there’s that. The “climb” up (seems almost shameful to do any boasting about going up a long flight of stairs) was quite a bit tougher than anticipated. This was mostly due to the heat and humidity. What would have taken about twenty minutes at home took us just over an hour, since we couldn’t cool down at all. It was really weird. Frequent stops, plus Alex’s repeated assurance that we would reach the top “very soon” (he’s been in China too long), got me to the top.
The top – what a mess! The view was quite remarkable, but the state of the peak was, well… messy. Aside from all the tall masts and dishes that we saw from the city, the ground was strewn with old fallen antennae and broken dishes, plus thick electrical and signal cables. It was a big scrap heap. The one building seemed to be occupied, as there were two air conditioning units active at the side. Nobody was there that we could see, and the inside was just as messy – electronic components of every sort littered the floor.
Around the other side was an abandoned tram car station, and the other half of the marvelous view (can’t say enough about it). We spent some time there eating snacks and drinking water, and then talking to a group of Brits that made it up after us.
~
Man that sucked. I’m so sorry.
* * *
— [Shazbot] - Thunder Jul 27, 11:13 AM #
More stories… or… else…
you suck.
btw did you bring me back a panda bear? You never answered me last time.
— Dr.Nick Jul 27, 04:14 PM #
— MastaPoop Jul 28, 09:39 AM #
— Dr.Nick Jul 28, 09:54 AM #
Or maybe I need to get some beer and weed and lay back, and really and truly relax, or/and drift in sailboat on a sunny day with a fishing rod between my toes. I think then the whole world could be starting to burn to the ground and the sea could be rising to make the beaches full of bikini clad girls go away, and everything would still be ok.
Oh, wait, that’s what the haze and smell of smoke over Vancouver is. The planet is burning, more each year. Oh ya, and there aren’t many fish, except for the PCB laden ones in false creek. We all burned too much oil and now everything’s going to suck for a long, long time.
Damn. You are so right. Everything sucks. Did I ever mention how much vending machine food and flourescent lighting also suck?
Except, your story, that didn’t suck at all. Wow, did it rock.
— They Call Me Bruce Aug 2, 04:34 PM #