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Well, it turns out there’s a pill for everything nowadays, so now everything is wonderful.
I’m sure everyone who’s reading this has heard me say that games nowadays totally suck and old games are way better. That’s a bit of a hyperbole (like most of what I say), but for your sake, I’ll limit that statement to single player games (you know I still like playing DC with you guys). Nothing beats the early nineties for PC gaming, in my opinion. I’m talking StarControl II, XCom, Master of Orion, X-Wing, Civilization, and Dune2. I still get watery-eyed over these titles when I speak of them (I’m blinking back the tears even now). The vibrant and glorious 8-bit images sooth my weary soul and beckon me back to another world – where what I do is much more important and much less mundane than, well, real life. Ahhh, and the music… those ancient tones change something in my brain. There is no external sign of my hidden inner euphoria except at the edges of my mouth, where they curl ever so slightly.
Naturally, I try to keep my old cast-iron 486 in good working condition so that I can relive my childhood (minus gym class)whenever I feel the need. That maintainence actually takes a bit of effort, you know. It’s similar to what I imagine a classic car enthusiast goes through on a monthly basis. There’s cleaning (lots of that), fixing the wiring (somehow it gets unfixed every month), making sure the air flow is good, etc. Fortunately, there are no fluids involved, so that’s nice. On the other hand, you’ve still got to deal with bad memory and old drivers.
Well, no longer! Err… for me, anyhow. I know DosBox has been around for a good while now. But I just discovered it and it makes me
SO
HAPPY
So yeah, I JUST figured it out. People have been telling me about it for ages, but I never listened. Big whoop, wanna fight about it? Go check out DosBox if you haven’t already.
And now, the inevitable:
~
So the next day (aren’t you excited?) we all decided to head out for a bike tour together. It was sunny when we decided this. By the time we arranged for the guide and got the bikes, it was raining. Did I say raining? I meant some other thing that’s like raining, only more. It rains in Vancouver. It does something else here. Some previously unknown reservoir of water is obviously in geosynchonous orbit high above southern China, and it occasionally ejects its entire store of water in about 20 minutes, then fills again. This is the best I’ve come up with so far. So yeah, it was doing that. We decided to go anyway. We later found out that in the nine years that our guide had been working, we were the first group who had gone out in a rainstorm. Makes some sense I guess. The roads were flooding like crazy, and the twenty inches of water made our progress slow – our feet were submerged half the time! But you know what? That was some of the best fun I’ve had this trip. It’s a nice warm rain anyhow – plus we had ponchos on. Who cares? It was nuts – everyone else was under the awnings, looking at the insane white people out on their bikes. We waved.
We quickly left the town and were soon in farm land. Rice paddies and tobacco mostly. The scenery… wow. Those small hills are so cool – I can’t get over them. Especially when you can see more and more in the distance, and the mist from the rain makes the farther ones hazy. We rode and rode, and the weather got better and better. Eventually the sun came out and the air was clean and everything was that much more beautiful. We saw the river – it was busting out all over the place. It looked big and fast with all the extra water. We stopped at one place (for a price) which featured a 1400 year old banyan tree (or so we were told), and several exotic and sickly looking animals. The fun part there was crossing the flooded river at this point where it was mysteriously shallow. Only after we crossed did we realize that it was a submerged bridge!
More riding… and then the caves! After haggling over the price (we’d learned what the real price for Chinese was) we entered into the “Buddha Caves”, named after a rock formation inside the cave that, very loosely, resembles a Buddha. The great thing about this cave is that there was no coloured lighting so common to tourist caves. The whole thing was very raw… and very dangerous. It was hard hats, ladders, and ropes all the way. I was amazed at where we went and what we could touch. And good heavens, the liability!! We would never, ever, EVER, be allowed to do this stuff at home. We ended up crawling through a small opening (at our request mind you) no higher than eight or ten inches, half submerged in water. All the formations were deadly sharp too – I cut up my shirt in front and back. But wow, what a great experience! It was thrilling the whole way through – I felt like Indiana Jones!
After about two hours of amateur spelunking (and another 30 meters down), we came to the mud cave area. This is a large “room” with… a lot of mud in it. And people too. We came upon another tour that was just finishing up. It was comprised of several brown huminoid forms ambling around and hooting, and one not-muddy tourguide looking on. We looked at each other, shrugged, stripped down (bathing suits folks, this was a family trip) and jumped in. It was more fun than it looked – quite hysterical even. I mean, hey, how often do you get to play in a massive mud puddle? And yet, the danger still lurked. For below all this mud lay the ever present pointy rocks! So there were yet more cuts and scrapes, but mostly more fun. Nothing is free I guess. Anyway, that place was a blast – I’ll never forget it.
It was dark when we got out of there. We cleaned off in the fading edge of twilight and started home along the highway – a faster route than when we came. Alex’s blinking headlamp was affixed to my backpack, and I trailed the others to (hopefully) ward off some of the cars who prefer to pass on the shoulder. It was another twenty minutes of bliss, each alone with their own thoughts and reverie. I used some of the time to thank God for granting me these incredible experiences. What a blessing indeed!
I’m back in Beijing now. The original plan was for Alex and Erika to return at this point, but for myself and Anne-Marie to remain in the south until it was time for me to leave (I leave from Hong Kong). But, due to some health and money issues (and I’m sure she missed her man quite a bit), I decided it would be best if we all returned to Beijing together. And it’s worked out just fine. I’ve seen and purchased a few things I didn’t have time to before we left, and being the decadent materialistic westerner that I am, that makes me happy.
A dissappointing note: I have so far not been able to secure a pair of pants that go up to my armpits. I have been told that Vietnam is more appropriate for such custom couture. So that will have to wait. I have, however, purchased several shirts with english text that don’t make any sense, and some tacky Mao merchandise. I’ve refrained from buying any of you any gifts though – most of what I’ve seen at the markets doesn’t really belong in any of your houses. I was toying with some gaudy gift ideas, relishing in advance the awkward silence that would precede your forced smiles and false gratitude… but I wouldn’t do that to you. So you can thank me for that instead.
~
Doom3 is out today, if you’re into that sort of thing. I’ll probably get it, but not till I finally finish Wolfenstein3D.
* * *
— colinf Aug 3, 06:34 AM #
btw: Doom 3, not sure if I’ll pick it up or not. Looks… scary!!!3
— Dr.Nick Aug 3, 07:26 AM #
IJumpInLava, however, is in a totally different sacred register.
— slacker Aug 3, 08:16 AM #
Game Preview
Play Now!!!
— MastaPoop Aug 4, 02:46 AM #
— Dr.Nick Aug 4, 03:49 AM #
Maybe I’ll have my questions answered in the Combat in the Desert tonight…..
— Dr.Nick Aug 5, 09:29 AM #
Just a thought.
— Caped Chameleon Aug 6, 06:37 AM #
— Leonardo_Dicaprio Aug 9, 03:44 AM #